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Don’t Let Your Ego Get in the Way When Making Parenting Plan Decisions


Parenting is not a competition, even though the desire to see other kids’ parents, or even other adults in your own children’s lives, as rivals, is palpable.  You passive-aggressively engage other parents at the playground in conversation about your children’s developmental milestones.  Sure, that other parent’s kid started walking before her first birthday, but your kid is in the 90th percentile for height.  Someone else’s kid might be in the gifted program at school, but your kid has a sibling.  You secretly seethe with jealousy as your kids have fun playing with their grandparents, their aunts and uncles, and even your own spouse.  In your interactions with your own child, however, one hopes that you can suppress these urges and behave in a mature manner, modeling how your child should be gracious, humble, and generous.  Never is it more difficult, or more important, to look at the big picture and not view parenting as a zero-sum game than when you are drafting a parenting plan during mediation.  Not only are ego-driven parenting plan decisions unlikely to fly with your ex, making your child custody case more likely to go to trial, but it is also likely to backfire if you get your way.  For help drafting a parenting plan that serves your children’s best interests, contact a Boca Raton child custody lawyer.

Don’t Add Unnecessary Complications to Your Children’s School Routine

You might demand certain provisions in your parenting plan just to reduce the amount of time or number of special occasions that your ex can spend with your children, but the children are the ones to suffer because of it.  For example, you might be so insistent on 50/50 timesharing that the kids spend half of the school nights with you, even though this means a long ride to the bus stop before and after school, and therefore less time for homework and sleep.  A few more school nights with your ex will not make your children forget you or make them think that you don’t care about them; it will only mean less disruption to their routine.

Don’t Force Your Children to Interact With Their Stepsiblings for Long Periods of Time and Then Be Surprised When They Don’t Get Along

Many children find that stepparent and stepsibling relationships are the hardest part of divorce.  The courts consider step-family relationships as a factor in parenting plan decisions, but you should not rearrange your children’s entire routine just to force them to accept your new family.  For example, you should not insist that your kids and your new spouse’s kids all be at your house on every single weekend and every single holiday.  With step-relatives as with in-laws, sometimes less is more when it comes to building familial relationships.

Contact Schwartz | White About Being Fair to Your Children

A South Florida family law attorney can help you formalize a parenting plan that is conducive to your well-being.  Contact Schwartz | White in Boca Raton, Florida about your case.



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