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How to Bring Up the Subject of Divorce


If you have decided your marriage is no longer working out and you want to get a divorce, bringing up the topic to your spouse can be quite the challenge. You are concerned about how they will act and whether it means you will be fighting about everything and anything from that point forward. Given that divorce is one of the biggest life-changing decisions a couple can make, holding out and not bringing it up will not necessarily make the conversation easier down the road.

Here are some tips to consider when you are planning out how to tell your spouse that you want to get a divorce.

Pick the Right Time and Place

Deciding to get divorced is not usually a decision that happens overnight. It’s something you’ve been considering for some time, but you still need to find the right time and place to drop this news on your spouse as they may not be expecting it at all. If your spouse has been ill, recently lost their job, or suffered some sort of family trauma, it’s worthwhile to hold off on the conversation. Bringing it up when they are already emotionally fragile can lead to less than optimal results. You should also ensure you bring it up when there is plenty of time to discuss it. Don’t mention divorce and then walk away.

Be Gentle but Firm When You Bring It Up

If you start the conversation blaming your spouse or have an adversarial tone, it’s not likely he or she will respond in a calm manner. Try to be compassionate and gentle, but you also want to be direct. Imagine how you would feel if you were on the receiving end of this conversation?

You should also be prepared for whatever their response will be. Anticipate the worst so you aren’t responding with more aggression and arguing.

Don’t Discuss Details Right Away

Don’t drop the D word and immediately jump into a conversation about asset distribution, child custody, etc. This could start some real arguments and isn’t likely to lead to any productive outcome if you start off arguing and you haven’t even filed the paperwork yet.

Consider Seeing a Counselor

It’s not uncommon that bringing up divorce stirs up a lot of emotions for both spouses. You can make things a little easier if you both consider counseling. There are also options like a professional divorce coach who can help you gain some clarity on the situation. It’s best if you both go into the actual divorce with a clear mind and some guidance as it could help reduce the friction during the asset distribution phase of the divorce.

Retaining a Florida Divorce Attorney

There is no single right answer on how to bring up the subject of divorce. It’s important to remember that the decisions you make before starting the divorce are often the most critical. If you have questions about divorce, it’s important to speak with a Florida divorce attorney. Contact the Law Offices of Schwartz | White at 561-391-9943 to schedule an initial consultation.


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