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Kindness, The Missing Ingredient In Your Divorce


No one wants an ugly divorce, but even if you are wealthy enough that the top Google results for all the divorce-related questions you Google include the words “high net worth divorce,” you do not inhabit the celebrity stratosphere where Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin ended their marriage with a “conscious uncoupling” or where Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady worked out every detail of property and parenting time before they involved the courts, so that the court finalized their divorce on the same day it was filed.  Divorce is one of the most painful experiences in a person’s life, even if you are financially secure.  Conflict during divorce is inevitable, and even desirable.  Acquiescing to all of your ex’s demands during divorce mediation just to keep the peace will only lead to future conflicts, and perhaps even post-divorce litigation.  Getting a divorce does not mean that you must give up on the goal of modeling kindness for your children.  A Boca Raton divorce lawyer can help you manage conflict in your divorce while truthfully showing your children that there is still kindness in the world.

Make Room for Unpleasant Emotions

It is unwise to let your children know how angry and hurt you feel about your divorce, even though keeping a stiff upper lip when your kids come home raving about their awesome new stepparent, or, even worse, upset about something your ex did during his or her parenting time is one of the hardest parts of being a parent.  When your kids are at school or with your ex, make time to talk to a family member or friend about how you really feel.

When in Doubt, Communicate in Writing

Talking to your ex can set off your anger.  The best way to avoid letting your ex get under your skin is to text instead of talking.  You can reread the text before you send it and make sure you are not saying things you don’t mean.  Coparenting apps like Our Family Wizard even warn you if your tone gets too belligerent or snarky.

When Push Comes to Shove, Rely on Your Divorce Lawyer

Chatbots are not known for their ability to read human emotions, so while coparenting apps can suggest text messages to send to your ex when you are too upset to compose your own messages, you need a lawyer’s help with the most difficult aspects of divorce communication.  Communicating with your ex through your divorce lawyer can be the most efficient way to relate necessary information while setting boundaries.  An email from your divorce lawyer can focus on the issues from the emotions, and it hurts less to get an email response from your ex’s lawyer than from your ex.

Contact Schwartz | White About Staying True to Your Values During Divorce

A South Florida family law attorney can help you and get a fair divorce settlement without transforming into someone you do not recognize.  Contact Schwartz | White in Boca Raton, Florida about your case.



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