Co-Parenting Litigation Is Expensive, So Choose Your Battles

There once was a Florida woman who asked the trial court to order her ex-husband to pay over $100,000 in attorneys’ fees. The former spouses had been battling in court for years, since they first filed for divorce, and the wife’s lawyers alone had put enough work into representing her in the case to rack up six figures in legal fees. The appeal court’s ruling only contained a few glimpses into what a mess the parties’ divorce and co-parenting situation was. The court found that the mother “failed to provide structure and routine” for the children; this is a common complaint among co-parents, but the courts usually respond to it by telling the complaining spouse to get a life. The ex-husband paid child support but not alimony; the ex-wife was intermittently self-employed. The ex-husband had managed to get out of paying alimony by showing that the ex-wife received financial support from her boyfriend. She lived rent free in a condo her brother owned; she only paid the condo fee. Her brother and boyfriend had been helping her pay for litigation, for which, at the time of the appeals court’s ruling, there was no end in sight. It is enough to make you grateful that you are not wealthy. For help figuring out which divorce and co-parenting issues are worth spending your resources litigating, contact a Boca Raton child custody lawyer.

If You Can’t Keep the Peace for the Children, Do It for Your Wallet

Being a parent means realizing how many things in your children’s lives are outside your control. It is hard enough to do that when you are married and you and your spouse are generally in agreement about parenting, but it is harder when you get divorced. If there is a silver lining to divorce, it is that it makes you realize that your financial resources are limited, and if you spend all your money on legal battles, there will be nothing left for your children’s future.

The first step toward a tolerable situation is not to be hasty in divorce mediation. If the situation is too emotionally charged, talk to your lawyer privately, and then sit silently in the mediation sessions while your lawyer negotiates with your ex’s lawyer. If spending Christmas Eve with your children every year is important to you, the time to speak up about it is during divorce mediation.

After that, co-parenting is an exercise in letting things go. You can’t go to court every time your ex makes a bigoted comment in front of your kids or lets them eat too much junk food. Talk to your friends about your co-parenting frustrations when your kids are not in the room with you. Use your judgment about when to tell your children that you disagree with something their other parent said, but do not badmouth your ex in front of your children. Count the days until your kids are grown up; even though, unless one or both of you was worse at co-parenting than you realize, your kids will continue to have a relationship with both parents, your relationship with your children can be completely separate from your ex’s relationship with your children.

Contact Schwartz | White About Co-Parenting Drama

A South Florida family law attorney can help you resolve co-parenting disputes after divorce.  Contact Schwartz | White in Boca Raton, Florida about your case.

Source:

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