How to Set the Stage for a Peaceful Co-Parenting Relationship

When you and your spouse first separate, before your divorce becomes final, is when the bitter feelings are the strongest.  Unfortunately, this is also when it is most important to set a precedent for how your co-parenting relationship will go until your children reach adulthood, and even beyond.  When your divorce becomes final, the court will issue a parenting plan; it usually does this by signing off on the parenting plan that you and your spouse have drafted together during divorce mediation.  Being sloppy or hasty when drafting a parenting plan is a mistake, and so is selectively complying with the parenting plan that the court ordered or that you and your spouse finalized in mediation.  Instead, you should take your parenting plan, and likewise your co-parenting relationship, seriously from the beginning.  It is not easy to do this when the hurt feelings about the breakup of your marriage are still fresh, but you can establish a successful co-parenting relationship with your ex-spouse with the help of a Boca Raton child custody lawyer.

Embrace the Temporary Parenting Plan

While your divorce is pending, you might want to interact with your estranged spouse as little as possible and focus on the near future when you will be gleefully single.  Certainly, avoiding tough discussions with your spouse is better than openly antagonizing each other and badmouthing each other to third parties.  What you should do instead is start practicing for being co-parents.  Request a temporary parenting plan that you can follow until your divorce becomes final; in time, you can decide whether your permanent parenting plan, which goes into effect once you finalize your divorce, will be the same or different.

The Right of First Refusal Is Better Than Joint Decision Making

Parenting plans, temporary and permanent, ask you questions about decision making, in addition to the timesharing schedule questions.  You can choose to give one parent the final decision about a certain matter or stipulate that the parents must agree on a case-by-case basis, but both scenarios can open the door to conflict.  The best solution is, “Mon can decide, but Dad has the right of first refusal,” or, “Dad can decide, but Mom has the right of first refusal.”  This leaves both parents with the maximum sense of autonomy and agency.

Less Is More When Communicating With Your Co-Parent

Be honest and direct when you communicate with your ex-spouse; not being passive-aggressive is just common sense.  Don’t feel like you have to be buddies, though.  In fact, it is best to keep your communications brief enough that you do not have a chance to get on each other’s nerves.

Stick to Your Plans, but Be Gracious When the Unexpected Happens

A parenting plan is a court order, not a suggestion; you can take your ex to court to modify or enforce the parenting plan if your ex doesn’t follow it.  Don’t start making threats every time your ex asks to pick up the children on Saturday morning instead of Friday evening, though.  Be gracious when things do not go according to plan.

Contact Schwartz | White About Peaceful Co-Parenting

A South Florida family law attorney can help you draft a temporary or permanent parenting plan.  Contact Schwartz | White in Boca Raton, Florida about your case.

Source:

msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/parenting/7-rules-for-co-parenting-with-an-ex-you-don-t-get-along-with/ar-BB1hStkm?ocid=msedgntp&pc=ACTS&cvid=023838c7d32042468a077e2e73d7b34d&ei=37