New Year’s Resolution: Making Peace With Your Divorce

You knew that feeling discombobulated while your divorce was pending was normal, but why do you still feel lost now that your divorce is final? Being single after an unhappy marriage is not the exciting adventure that the lifestyle influencers said it would be; at least, it is not that was for you. A year or more after the court dissolved your marriage, you still feel broke, disorganized, and stressed out. How can you get unstuck? No matter your marital status, so much of life just involves putting one foot in front of the other, making incremental progress on the things you have the resources to change, and coping with the things you cannot change, at least for the time being. Whether you are a broke, stressed-out divorced person or a happy, healthy divorced person is largely a matter of perspective. If the biggest obstacle to a new normal is an error in your divorce property settlement or a health issue that has reduced your capacity for work and left you needing more child support, less parenting time, or a home health aide, you should go to court and ask for a modification. If you have separated from your spouse and want to divorce on terms that enable you and your ex to bounce back financially and emotionally, contact a Boca Raton divorce lawyer.

Picking Yourself Up After Your Plans Fell Apart

One of the hardest parts of adjusting to life after divorce is accepting that the plans you and your spouse made together have fallen through. You may eventually retire, but your retirement savings will not include the money that your ex-spouse earns between now and retirement, unless you divorced late in life and got a QDRO. You can still make every effort to provide financially for your adult children, but you no longer have any control of how much, if anything, your ex contributes to your grown children’s expenses.

Instead, you get to make a new plan for the future, one that you ex and your former in-laws can’t veto. It can include old friends your ex never cared for and new ones your ex would never accept, or it might include a friend group that your ex will eventually join. The important thing is that you are now the protagonist of your own story.

Pursuing Your Goals Instead of Surviving on Auto Pilot

After you get divorced, you might realize how much effort you spent, during your marriage, on things you did only because your ex-spouse wanted you to do them. Perhaps you always vacuumed the floor on Friday afternoons, because your ex didn’t like the sound of the vacuum, and Friday was the day when you got home from work early. Maybe you avoided cooking your favorite foods because your ex didn’t like the way they made the kitchen smell.

For better or worse, divorced people have more free time than married people. The schedule that accommodated your ex might have been the only thing you knew for years, but now you have more flexibility to decide when to do housework, when to run errands, when to socialize, and when to lie around and do nothing.

Contact Schwartz | White About Building Your Future After Divorce

A South Florida family law attorney can help you find peace of mind during and after your divorce.  Contact Schwartz | White in Boca Raton, Florida about your case.

Source:

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