The Family Court Will Not Make Your Children Choose Between You and Your Ex-Spouse, and Neither Should You

Parenting is not a popularity contest.  The parents of adults will remind you of this, and so will Internet content that ranges from web comix and lighthearted blogs to op eds by writers who are jockeying for a journalism award.  It is hard enough to remember this when your toddlers scream bloody murder because you did exactly what they requested and when your teens seem to be basing all their decisions on the goal of turning out as different as possible from you.  It is even harder to remember this when your ex-spouse seems to be trying every trick in the book to win your children’s affection and to one-up you not only in the easy things like giving your children gifts and letting them stay up late, but also in the more subtle matters of parenting, such as emotional intelligence and being consistent.  The worst thing you can do is to say negative things about your ex in front of your children or ask your children questions that make it sound like you are asking them to choose which parent they love more.  If you wish, deep down, that your children would pick you but you know that what you really need is a feasible parenting plan, contact a Boca Raton child custody lawyer.

Why the Courts Do Not Ask Children Which Parent They Want to Live With

Think about how uncomfortable it was when you were a child at family gatherings, and your relatives would ask you which one you loved the most, even though you and everyone else knew it was just a game.  Imagine having to answer this question in a court of law, and the consequence was that one parent would get his or her wish to live with you for most of the year, and the other would not.  The consensus in family law today is that asking children about their preferences for parenting time is not only unnecessarily stressful for the children, it is also legally counterproductive.

Judges may use more than a dozen factors in determining a child’s best interest.  For children in their early teens and younger, that means having as little disruption to their routine as possible.  There is almost nothing an elementary school child can say about the family’s schedule and dynamics that the court could not find out from other sources.  To find out about the children’s relationship with each parent, judges may ask the children’s teachers, doctors, and adult extended family members, or the parents’ lawyers may summon these people as witnesses.

When Do Courts Consider Teens’ Reasonable Preference in Parenting Plan Decisions?

Judges may interview teens in the judges’ chambers in parenting plan cases and use the teens’ reasonable preference as a factor.  The teens may speak about their school, work, and extracurricular activity schedules, and they may talk about relationships and conflicts with parents, siblings, and step-family members.

Contact Schwartz | White About Keeping Your Children Out of Your Divorce Drama

A South Florida family law attorney can help you finalize your parenting plan without dragging your children into your conflicts.  Contact Schwartz | White in Boca Raton, Florida about your case.

Source:

abajournal.com/voice/article/kids-in-court-understanding-the-impact-and-how-legal-professionals-can-help