What Should You Do If Your Ex-Spouse Lies to You About Your Kids?
No matter how angry your ex-spouse’s behavior makes you, it is exponentially worse when that behavior is directed toward your children. You are used to your ex blowing up at you for no reason, before and after your divorce, but when she loses her temper at your children because of something trivial, it is almost too painful to bear. Your ex broke numerous promises to you during your marriage, to the point that, when he broke your wedding vows, it barely registered as out of character, but you can’t stand it when he promises to take the kids to Disney World on Memorial Day weekend, but instead they end up bored out of their minds at his girlfriend’s mother’s house in Sunrise, just like every weekend. Co-parenting with your ex-spouse means that the court is holding you accountable for a greater standard of emotional maturity than most parents must uphold. When your ex-spouse tells bald-faced lies to your children, you must respond tactfully, if not graciously. For help building a sustainable framework with an ex-spouse who has a tendency to tell falsehoods, contact a Boca Raton child custody lawyer.
Show Your Children the Truth Instead of Just Telling It
If your children tell you that your ex-spouse says that A happened, and you immediately correct them by saying that B happened, their first instinct will not be to be sure that B is what happened. Instead, their first instinct is to feel that you are putting them in the middle.
Writers know that the most effective way to convey a message is “show, don’t tell.” Let your children find out for themselves that your version of events is true. The more subtle you can be about the fact that you are exposing your ex’s lies, the better. Don’t say, “Today we are going to Dania Beach so you can see evidence that B is true and that your father was wrong when he said that A is true.” Just go to Dania Beach and let your children feast their eyes on B. Philosophers know that the purpose of disputation is not to win; rather, it is to reveal the truth.
Accept That There Is More Than One Side to Most Stories
Equally frustrating are the things that you know to be false, but your ex knows them to be true. For example, you and your ex-spouse probably have different perspectives on why your marriage fell apart, and you are probably both correct. If you show willingness to see more than one side to a story, you are helping your children build emotional intelligence.
Contact Schwartz | White About Co-Parenting With Honesty
A South Florida family law attorney can help you build a parenting plan that will help you maintain a stable relationship with your children, even when you and your ex-spouse fundamentally disagree or when your ex does destabilizing things like lying to your children. Contact Schwartz | White in Boca Raton, Florida about your case.
Source:
scarymommy.com/parenting/divorce-coach-co-parenting-liar
