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Should You Embrace Parallel Parenting Even If the Court Does Not Order It?

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It is easy for jealousy, suspicions, and perceived slights to drive you crazy, particularly regarding your relationship with your ex-spouse who broke your heart.  Before you fly off the handle at your ex about every little thing, though, you would do well to remember the words of Abdullah ibn al-Muqaffa`, a government official who lived in Basra, Iraq in the eighth century.  He wrote the Great Book of Conduct, an advice manual for gentlemen in general and civil servants in particular.  One of the timeless pieces of advice in his book is that, if you see your friend talking to your enemy, do not be angry, because one of two things is true.  The first is that the friend is one of the closest people in your life, and if this is the case, then he keeps your best interests in mind even when talking to your enemy.  The other is that he is not one of the closest people in your life, and if this is the case, then it is none of your business to tell him who to talk to.  Ibn al-Muqaffa` was not writing about divorced co-parents, but the advice applies.  You should assume that your ex has your children’s best interests in mind, and you should also assume that most of what your ex does, now that you are officially divorced, is none of your business.  A Boca Raton child custody lawyer can help you exercise wisdom and good judgment in your co-parenting relationship with your ex-spouse.

“Mind Your Own Business” Is Good Advice, and Not Only With Your Mortal Enemies

When former spouses are completely unable to get along, but they have minor children together, the court often includes parallel parenting provisions in the parenting plan.  Parallel parenting is when the parents, despite each exercising parenting time with the children, have minimal contact with each other.  One parent brings the children to the other parent’s house and then waits in the car until the ex or a member of the ex’s household opens the door.  The parents communicate by text message instead of getting on each other’s nerves in real time.

Even if the court has not ordered you to be hands off with your ex to such a degree, it does not hurt to draw the boundaries too sharply; this is better than setting too few boundaries.  Your children will not suffer if your ex feeds them Froot Loops for breakfast and you don’t find out about it; they will suffer, however, if your ex feeds them Froot Loops for breakfast and, because of this, you are in a bad mood all day.  Having the wisdom not to micromanage your ex and children is always a good idea, even if the court has not ordered you to engage in parallel parenting.

Contact Schwartz | White About High Conflict Divorces

A South Florida family law attorney can help you if you and your ex-spouse keep reopening old wounds in your co-parenting relationship.  Contact Schwartz | White in Boca Raton, Florida about your case.

Source:

msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/parenting/this-is-what-parallel-parenting-is-according-to-divorce-mediators/ar-BB1r4gx4?ocid=msedgntp&pc=ACTS&cvid=61884ac08404411fb49a998f530dc429&ei=28

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